GIG DATES:
29TH AUG - APOTHECARY TAP, BANBURY
With my fingernails and thumb, I might get you to hum...
This Stockholm Syndrome is... like cocaine in my gum...
That "Juicy Fruit" unpacked the Chief's invisible act...
He listened and he spoke... McMurphy's masterstroke...
Erdington man went spare!
Somethin' I did, he just couldn't bear.
Open mic night made him angry... I picked my songs with naivety...
(The thorn that I didn't see...)
Bit of give 'n' take, I'll take and you give, bit of give 'n' take, I'm donatin'.
Bit of give 'n' take, be more assertive, bit of give 'n' take, I'm hibernatin'...
Here we go again, I'm tryina reach ya. Here we go again, I'm minstrellin'.
Here we go again, you're so particular! Here we go again, there's no tellin'
You. You're goin' through a phase. Got so much hell to raise!
A fruity piece of cake... ingredients are fake.
Let's settle this dispute and get down to the root...
Eden was there to loot... Caught with a prostitute...
"Goodnight nurse Ratched."
"Sleep tight my puppet."
Make a deal and sign the treaty...
Fruit-machine economy...
(Dow Jones, NASDAQ, FTSE)
Don't know what it means, but I still said it. Don't know what it means to go without.
Don't know what it means to have no credit. Don't know what it means to lose a bout. Snaggin' on the brambles, poor little baby! Snaggin' on the brambles, food monkey.
Snaggin' on the brambles, blood like gravy. Snaggin' on the brambles... Don't ask me...
What will be revealed? What drum will they beat?
Call of duty. Picky, fruity, obsessively neat.
Workin' in a field. Workin' in a seat. Workin' out the benefits...
The work's never complete…
Picky, fruity, muscle geeks with powder on their cheeks.
The stuff works like a dream... takes years for them to wean.
Jason Statham movies and high-protein smoothies...
Bench-press 200k, to keep the fear at bay...
Pick and choose your destiny...
There is not much choice, clearly.
The silence is deafenin'… Pandora's box is openin'
(Afraid of what's within)
Drivin' me insane, exposure therapy. Drivin' me insane, don't make me laugh.
Drivin' me insane: "You need more melody!" Drivin' me insane, sort the wheat from the chaff... Here we go again, I'm tryina reach ya! Here we go again, I'm minstrellin'... Here we go again, you're so particular! Here we go again, there's no tellin'...
What will be revealed? What drum will they beat?
Call of duty. Picky, fruity, obsessively neat.
Workin' in a field. Workin' in a seat. Workin' out the benefits...
The work's never complete…
Evil fuckin wankers, every day and night. It's true, I might be one of them, I'm full of spite.
But now is not the time or place to wallow in pity, we gotta get down to nitty gritty...
So says an existentialist with an eye on the filth... He smashed a mirror with his fist and he shattered himself… Bye-bye American Pie: origin of the MILF...
Don't ask me why, I'm just a guy who keeps an eye on the filth.
"Hold my hand and we’ll tackle the bluster!"
"Just wait a minute, I don't know if I trust yer!"
"Well, come with me and see the venals if you dare... (backstage passes…)
Suck it up and soak it in..."
The atmosphere's intimidatin' and I can't stand the stand-offishness everywhere...
(Workin' classes…)
Cuntsterbull-shitters, Elmer Fuds… Gnarly wammels on patrol in the hoods...
Community support officers… (Brasses, grasses…)
White van man chucked his lunch in the street... Uberman hit the curb of concrete, and knelt down for salvation in the gutter...
and I stayed well away 'cause he looked like a nutter!
Stupid motherfuckers, don’t know wrong from right. It's true, I might be one of them, I'm a sorry sight... But now is not the time or place to wallow in pity, we gotta get down to nitty gritty...
So says an existentialist with an eye on the filth... He might remind you of Travis Bickle. You know the drill… Bye-bye American Pie: origin of the MILF...
Don't ask me why, I'm just a guy who keeps an eye on the filth.
Mister Wisdom Flunker's his name. Some would say he's never been the same since the days of normal eyesight left a stain... (Covid 19) Flunker focused on a clinical quest when the arseholes put his faith to the test. They would never break him, but they did their best... (Felt so unclean) Songs of filth and songs of praise, Flunker sang them all unfazed, hardly recognising his own voice… (God Save the Queen)
That shootin' star was only satellite junk, and GG Allin was his favourite punk.
Obscenity trials like Mr Joyce... But now he's drivin' a brand-new Rolls Royce...
Sneaky fuckin’ bastards, they're so erudite. It's true, I might be one of them, I'm talkin' shite. But now is not the time or place to wallow in pity, we gotta get down to nitty gritty...
So says an existentialist with an eye on the filth... How many youngsters will enlist, like my great-uncle Wilf? Bye-bye American Pie: origin of the MILF...
Don't ask me why, I'm just a guy who keeps an eye on the filth.
That’ll do, I think we all know the score. We’ve had enough, don’t wanna see anymore… But why is there a policeman in the garden? (P. C. Lardon)
Wrong address, he got locked out the back. We let him in, but his manners were slack...
What little training he had had been forgotten… (I beg your pardon!)
Cunts in positions of authority, they need removin’ but we’re too lazy…
And my head's in the clouds like a helium balloon… (Gotta harden)
In the dungeon, we were tied up with chains. We had to stare at skeletal remains from October until the sixteenth of June... And now we're cosplayin' as a cartoon.
Funny fuckin’ fantasists, the vampires bite. It's true, I might be one of them, I'm on a fancy flight. But now is not the time or place to wallow in pity, we gotta get down to nitty gritty...
So says an existentialist with an eye on the filth... I know that nothin’ rhymes with this, but I’ll die on that hill… Bye-bye American Pie: origin of the MILF...
Don't ask me why, I'm just a guy who keeps an eye on the filth.
Oh yay! Oh yay! Let it be known from this day forth...
Hear ye! Hear ye! From south of south and north of north...
Equal, equal, equal, equal, equally responsible!
Don't ride off into the sun, you need to scalp the palpable...
Frilly Tonks was awarded a gong,
She must've worn 'er brother's lucky thong!
Daddy loved to do the bandioke,
He looked as if he'd taken ecstasy!
Sharky-cyborg stuffed a matrix with cash,
Too on the nose to wear an Adolph moustache...
Shots of smack, on the app for the vain.
You won't regret buyin' that timeshare in Spain.
Home is where the heart is... True, to some degree.
Went in the cathedral, paid the entry fee...
Visited Erasmus, nibbled on some herbs...
Major realisation... Adjectives and verbs...
(In the suburbs...)
Conjure up those feelings and make 'em seem real on demand...
Like some trophies on a mantelpiece, like a sitcom with laughter that's canned.
Summon up those feelings... from the flesh that retains all its squeals...
And you won't leave a dry eye in the house...
Now his might hurt a bit but it heals.
Wait..in at the station for his woman,
Wrote some lines to stop him feelin' sullen.
Leg to stand, the other leg to pull.
Sittin' Bull could scalp the palpable.
Lee went down the old leeway,
He was the brother who came out as gay.
Fair play, 'cause he knew he'd be pitted against the locals who could be slow-witted.
Saturn Jazz had conquered the mids,
The grebos, Hell's Angels and invalids...
Scalp the palpable, I say.
The train arrived four minutes late today...
Opportunity knocks, don't answer the door.
Star Wars politicians in the House of Lords.
"What's so special about you?" (chokin' back the tears...)
"I've been there already. Wet behind the ears!"
(All my peers...)
Conjure up those feelings and make 'em seem real on demand...
Like some trophies on a mantelpiece, like a sitcom with laughter that's canned.
So, just summon up those feelings... from the flesh that retains all its squeals...
and you won't leave a dry eye in the house...
Now this might hurt a bit but it heals.
On the path to true enlightenment,
Pie chart graph of your engagement,
Channel that wrath and find who's culpable,
Wield the staff to scalp the palpable.
Take the biscuit. Now it's this bit!
That's the spirit! That's the spirit! That's the spirit! That's the spirit! What have you writ? What have you writ? What have you writ? What have you writ?
Scalp the palpable, I say. I'm gonna make it my forte!
Scalp, scalp the palpable... Scalp, scalp the palpable... Scalp, scalp the palpable... Scalp, scalp the palpable...
Scalp the palpable, I say... and hang it up now, don't delay. Scalp the palpable, today...
Even if it's just another brief foray...
And even if you're only there to simulate...
And even though you're in a state of decay...
And even if you hate the meaning of OK...
Oh no!
Musta touched a nerve. What's left in reserve?
Tan the tangible... Are you capable?
Capture the rapture! Measure your stature!
Spiritual ritual. Scalp the palpable!
Congratulations, boss!
We must look like ants from where you stand.
It must feel so good to be immortal.
Can I offer myself as a human sacrifice?
Will anything suffice? For you there is no price!
Kill 'em before they're born.
Encourage 'em to get into porn.
You can always give 'em the sack.
You're eager to go on the attack.
But she's the king of keepin' the peace.
A tight spot lubricated with grease.
No one likes a comedy band. Gamblin' like a crab in the sand.
Congratulations, boss!
You have conquered death with an ease, destined to shine.
Send us down the mine, administrate until we drop...
Please use our bodies to fertilise your crop, and to thicken the livestock slop,
and we will always say "Fair cop!" When you say “Jump!” we’ll gladly hop.
What do you expect me to do? Turn myself a pleasant hue?
I'll scream until I’m blue in the face...
Cuz I'm runnin' the superior race...
And yes, I made a few billion quid...
From you, most of the profits were hid.
It was like a walk in the park. My bite is livin' up to my bark.
Congratulations, boss!
You went to excess, but there's still more that you want...
You have reached the top, and I know it must be hard to stop.
So, blast off into space...
And we can live amongst the bots...
Because a leopard's never changin' its spots...
At least you're happy with your luxury yachts!
I like you more than bein' alive. Servin' you is my only drive.
And if I ever let you down, then feel free to let me drown.
So, congratulations boss. Even though you don't give a toss!
You deserve your bonusses.
Gaffer, you're the best in the biz!
Congratulations, boss!
There's always some time to buy, when you own the universe...
Recentre yourself, and don't forget to mediate! Get that hunger back,
And maybe throw us some scraps from your plate…
Your generosity controls our fate.
You must be carryin’ a heavy weight…
So let us shoulder the burden, mate.
Talk about value for money... 'cause everythin' you feed us is yummy!
You've got a population to tease… and you could sell a poodle with fleas!
So round and round and round we go… generatin' all that doe…
Take it to the next level… Line the pockets of the devil.
Clevabig
Clevabig, like a guinea pig roastin' on a twig… at the local gig. Wore a judge’s wig.
You go fig. Played a game to rig. Crashed a thousand cigs. Student digs…
Boson named for Higgs... Danced the Irish jigs!
Separation found where it joins (One, two, "I love you")
"No way that you came from my loins" (Three, four… Had a few…)
Sleepin’ on the itchy furniture... (Fifty-six rashy backs…)
Respondin' to nature and nurture (Seven, eight salty snacks…)
Bounty on 'er 'ed, Clevabig, she fled, A to Zed. She was just misled. Innocence, she pled.... Won the bread. Careful where you tread. Didn't do thee wed. Sense of dread.
All the things she said... Somewhere in the med...
…iteranean, Kingswinford (could've been anywhere)
Felt so alien, ill-tempered… (Boxin' press-conference stare…)
Now we know who’s most vulnerable…(Mayday! Mayday! Hit eject…)
Clevabig reduced to rubble (Swingin’ wildly incorrect…)
Combination dial, Cleverbig's denial, took a while. Added to the pile.
On the bathroom tile, flecks of bile. Valiantly vile... Your distinctive style...
Stan and Kyle. No one left to rile, never went to trial...
Now he's not so big and clever (6 feet... underground)
and they vandalised his gravestone (Roughed it up, no one frowned)
So, they dug him out and moved him (far away, unmarked grave)
In a coffin, decomposin’… (Party time. Global rave…)
Lilliput, underneath your foot, livin' in yer gut. Quantum physics butt. Universal mutt.
Please don't tut. Prehistoric hut. Chimney filled with soot. Made the cut.
All the shops were shut. Squirrel stored its nut...
Now the journey's almost over (time to plan the next one)
Clevabig loads up a revolver (just in case bandits come)
Not so Magnificent Seven, (Samurai. Askin' why?)
Mr Chapman killed John Lennon (Catcher in the Rye...)
Clevabig's a whale outta water (Free will, pay the bill)
Clevabig with bricks and mortar (Windowsill, such a thrill...)
Even when the chances are small (gather round, say a prayer)
Clevabig's inevitable (What you found is not so rare...)
Clevabig's a drop in the sea... no doubt about it. Clevabig's a monstrosity... no doubt about it.
Cleverbigger than you and me... no doubt about it. Cleverbig aniversary... no doubt about it.
Cleverbig, a surreal plea... no doubt about it. Cleverbig, a sweat factory... no doubt about it.
Cleverbig micro-gadgetry... no doubt about it. Cleverbig's a lock with no key…
Opinions are like Wormholes
The more I try to be myself, the more I degrade,
They said I was divergent but I'm typically made,
I've spent too long howlin' at the wrong moon.
It's just a lamp up the road!
Higher, higher, higher, higher resolutions,
Convinced myself I made some valid contributions...
But at the end of the day I only redecorated a room...
I begged, I pinched and I borrowed...
Opinions are like wormholes, folks! Get used to disapproval and a few downvotes, because there's more where that came from...
Let's see those thumbs... (just like in Roman times...)
I beat about the bush and flushed out some game...
A sketchy personality can't stay in its lane...
I sauntered through some interdimensional slums and joined a band of mimes...
Atheists. Slit my wrists. Ventriloquists. Freedom of speech.
Cleaned with bleach. I can't quite reach. Opinions are like wormholes.
Once you go in... you're walkin' on (hot) coals...
Song, song, song, song, song, song...
Why can't we all just get along?
Fuck this shit, it's enough to make me spit
Oh, where did it all go wrong?
I don't need anyone... to inspire anythin'...
The earthworm gripped inside the mouth of the crow, I'm divin' headfirst, I won't just dip in my toe...
Phoney physician, see the optician... meet the mortician.
Bicyclist. A bling linguist? I'm top of the list because opinions are like wormholes.
Once you go in... you're walkin' on (hot) coals...
None none none none none none.
We had it all but now it's gone.
Used to be tight-knit but we're no longer legit.
Good riddance to bad rubbish. Join the pile on.
I don't know anythin' about any-bloody-thin'
My reptile soul can slither and hiss, but it won't do an iota of justice.
Uncle abstract wasn't like the rest...
He trailblazed whilst the others regressed,
He acted as if the world revolved around him.
(He sat at home in his den...)
What a chad, what a grouch, what a sponge!
All or nothin' oozin' out like gunge...
No fairydust, just fish-food sprinkled at the brim...
(The vitamins of zen)
Well, here's a short story 'bout some mundane things...
And I won't apologise for any grief that it brings...
Because there's not a fat lot to it anyway...
(The curried favour persuades...)
I once met a man who wouldn't wash his hand because he once made contact with cock-rock band...
I looked on with bewilderment as he lay...
(on cliches of the trades...)
Opinions are like wormholes. Everyone's confused. Undarwinian dorky Dawkins.
Muslims and Jews. I'm only an average bloke, I got no ego to bruise...
That's a lie but I'm keepin' it woke. Christians. Hindus.
Song, song, song, song, song, song...
Why can't we all just get along?
Fuck this shit, it's enough to make me spit
Oh, where did it all go wrong?
Inoffensive offensive. The village idiots.
We thought we might get diced to bits.
We didn't join the dots...
But now I'm seekin like a Sikh and studyin' the Gurus...
Opinions are like wormholes...
Einstein. Tom Cruise.
None none none none none none.
We had it all but now it's gone.
Used to be tight-knit but we're no longer legit.
Good riddance to bad rubbish. Join the pile on.
I don't wanna get involved, so I'm stayin' outta this. So let the side down if you wish, and into the wormhole I'll vanish...
You thought it was over! You thought it was over! You thought it was over!
It is.
Never Made Much Sense to Me
Your claim to fame is very tame...
It's just the ticket. You have no shame.
No competition... You've won, I guess...
What happens next? I couldn't care less.
Satan tried to twist my arm, but I wasn’t in the mood...
“I’ll get you next time,” he said, “you’ll change your attitude!”
With Jehovah’s help I might squeeze out some decent lyrics...
But sadly, I’m on my own. I don’t believe in gimmicks…
Easy fix… mental gymnastics…
Never-made-much-sense-to-me. Worshippin' a deity... Each to their own...
I must be missin' somethin' obviously. Maybe...
Never-made-much-sense-to-me…
Not one theory makes me feel at home.
Earn your stripes and you'll be free to roam (around in paradise.)
Block-out the scum, get nice 'n' numb.
Accumulate some chords to strum.
Your latest album, hardly released…
Your monthly listeners are now deceased.
Charlie chalked it up to Christ with blackboard scrapin' sounds...
"Stevie Y" became a hit because he did the rounds...
Oh please don't pretend you don't when you frequently do...
You rammed it right down their throats, at least you had a goo...
More than a few not so cryptic clues...
Never-made-much-sense-to-me. Livin' for eternity... Sisyphus stone...
I must be dissin' somethin' so blatantly, hehe…
Never-made-much-sense-to-me…
Can’t we all just leave it alone?
Got trapped inside a suicidal iphone...
(Ring the Samaritans!)
You had to dodge a few bullets!
You tried to bodge, but you called it quits!
You got some stick. Persona glue.
You came unstuck. Then you withdrew...
Never made much sense to me how you can be so vicious...
and so gentle all at once… and also superstitious.
Bad luck, good luck, charm offensive, flagrant cashin' in...
Tadpole trance, this circumstance is makin' my head spin.... Beer and gin, aspirin.
Never made much sense to me: a marathon for charity... The Human genome.
You must be kissin' somethin' financially... Bribery.
Never made much sense to me... Shaken to the core by what you've always known.
I feel rejuvenated now I've had a moan... (it all makes perfect sense)
No arguments, ladies and gents.
I'm Alan Partridge! You're David Brent!
It's clear as mud, I understand... Must be a reason? Logic be damned!
Brilliant Bayonets
Here’s me playin’ an singin’... Can't work 9 to 5...
Still, I put the hours in, even though I skive.
Wish this was a soft song, but it’s harsh and rife...
with intentions gone wrong on the edge of a knife...
Brilliant bayonets... buffed up for his majesty... Consultin’ the vets... Lethal dose of travesty...
Ain't no tit for tat... Hairbrush for a mic.
You’re hand to hand combat... I’m a missile strike!
Yeah, I'm good for nothin' but for you I'd take a blade through the chest.
I know that I'm a basket-case, a dummy with emotions suppressed.
Unattended wounds turn gangreeny.
Survivalists, revivalists. The nuclear family.
Your bayonet’s got a a brilliant shimmer.
You’re lookin’ the part, you know. You look like a killer!
Been watchin’ the news again, I see. We’ve nose dived…
The system’s crashed, at least it’s been archived…
I'm vexed with my lexicon, I'm Dr Johnson!
Alone in the marketplace, I've been a bad son...
Oh, nobody wants me! Nobody wants what I grew!
Society's out of reach, I'm cryin' "Boo hoo!"
The culture is exhaustin'... Take it to the banks...
A military dependency? I say thanks, but no thanks!
You're not supposed to coast... You're not supposed to give up!
Before you have, before you hold... agree to a pre-nup... Communion cup...
I'm only kiddin, but who did I kid?
You called my bluff, so I had to make a bid.
The chance of survival is a million to one.
I wanna be straight but I'm a serious con.
I'm not the most sensitive and struggle to grieve...
Can't make up my mind if I'm to stay or to leave...
I'm aimin' my rifle at the screen of regrets.
The troops in the street show-off their brilliant bayonets...
I’m feelin’ so conflicted, talkin’ ‘bout the forces...
My information comes from unreliable sources…
The freedom of the city ain’t the best of rewards,
but now you’re dressed-up for an audience that mindlessly applauds army billboards…
Ne ne ne ner ner nee ner ner! Ner ner ner ner ner nerner ner!
We don’t need maturity, we need miracles.
We thrive on adversity. Don’t feed the seagulls!
It’s my insecurity. I’m bustin’ yer balls! Protectin’ perversity with armoured vehicles…
All the brilliant bayonets are waitin' to stab...
I'm grateful for another violent crisis to find drab...
Underneath the blankets of propaganda, there’s no debate, we’ll stay up late and watch the extravaganza. Let’s have a gander…
…at the weapons of last resort… Long range and short… Live by the sword…
Brilliant bayonets… brilliant bayonets…
No Vices a Novice
"Your body's a temple!" That's a biblical line…
I thought I might change it, but it fits the design.
I'm down in the chasm of the lowest wit.
I need to climb out, I'm chompin' at the bit.
Opened-up his notebook then he realised his words were on the turn,
they were attractin’ flies...
He’d been off his head for years, he vomited wrath,
and everybody knew he was a sociopath…
But every now and then he'd purify himself...
It never lasted long, he was a novice at health...
Maybe he could be a little Buddhist a while?
The scorpion on his shoulder stung away his smile...
No vices? A novice. He's on to a promise. The drunk's amateurish, he's actin' all boorish. Occasional winner. He'll eat you for dinner. A constant beginner. He'd better deliver!
NO VICES!
"Fuck it all off!" That's what the odd-job said.
He bought me a pint, although he was a knobhead.
He knew I made music and he begged me to stop…
because he was jealous of the cream of the crop.
Utterly oblivious, a rookie mistake...
'cause there was only so much everyone would take of his misdemeanours and his manic lip...
And when he wasn't caining it he'd often slip into deep depression...
Gripped him like a vice… For them, for him, for her, for you, it wasn't nice.
Lay awake at night, awoken from mad dreams…
He typed himself to sleep again, he churned out reams...
No vices? A novice. He's high in the office. He's vapin' cannabis. He's always on the piss.
There might be a glimmer, but it's gettin' dimmer.
So much to consider, baggage to get ridda...
NO VICES!
"It's gonna catch up with ya, sooner or later."
She told me; "Be a lover and stop bein' a hater!"
I said that I'd try, but inside I knew that I'd never be ready to give up the pursuit.
Used to smoke the skunk and roll some terrible fags…
and still drinks like a fish occasionally he gags.
Too much TV, painkillers and hangovers...
with ultra-processed food and sugary sodas...
Jesus fuckin' Christ, I think we get the picture...
'cause everybody's got a vice… Don't need a lecture!
"Will he ever get in shape?" (I just don't know...)
It's probably just the way he is and part of the show...
No vices? A novice. Sobriety's honest. He's stable and earnest.
Commitments won't be missed... His belly got thinner, no longer a sinner,
he flowed like a river, he started to shiver...
NO VICES!
"Perpetual rehabilitation, chap. You need a higher power!"
"Nah, I just need a nap! And after my rest I’m gonnatrain like a pro…
until I fall off the wagon and let myself go…"
I was tryna figure out the things I couldn’t get to,
and the morbid curiosity was startin’ to get to me.
Pacin’ up ‘n’ down the room and hoping for a breakthrough.
I never was a stranger to behavin’ erratically.
Sarah drove us once again from Bearwood to Brierley Hill.
The journey was an inspiration, I felt so much joy!
Back to my roots where I swallowed a bitter pill.
I thought about the thoughts I had when I was just a boy.
Poochie, poochie’s off the lead.
Your ugly animal is runnin’ at me at full speed.
I won’t be rational…
You’re pokin’ at the nest o’ the wasps.
(You know they’re gonna sting)
And someone better call the cops (Canary’s gonna sing)
Oh, won't you have some mercy on me? Oh please, your Honour!
Can you show some mercy for me? Oh please, your Honour!
Won’t you show some mercy for me? Oh please, your Honour!
Oh can you have some mercy on me? Oh please, your Honour!
It’s a soundtrack to a bad episode…
Soundtrack to a bad episode…
Soundtrack to a bad episode…
Soundtrack to a bad episode…
Every single conversation that I had would hurt me,
and every time I found myself alone I’d sit stew.
I was gettin’ close to stayin’ away from people totally.
I really couldn’t handle anybody else’s point of view.
I went to the doctor and she told me where to go.
I moved to another town but that didn’t do the trick.
I went to a therapist and they jumped out the window.
Maybe I was too sane? Maybe I was sick?
In the courts o’ kangaroos, the bouncers gonna bounce.
I only got my temper to lose.
And every second counts.
You’re pokin’ at the nest o’ the wasps
(You know they’re gonna sting)
And someone better call the cops (Canary’s gonna sing)
So, will you have some mercy on me? Oh please, your Honour!
Can you show some mercy for me? Oh please, your Honour!
Oh, won’t you show some mercy for me? Oh please, your Honour!
Oh can you have some mercy on me? Oh please, your Honour!
It’s a soundtrack to a bad episode…
Soundtrack to a bad episode…
Soundtrack to a bad episode…
Soundtrack to a bad episode…
I hadn’t been myself for a long, long time!
You know I hadn’t been myself for a long, long time!
I really hadn’t been myself for a long, long time!
I really hadn’t been myself for a long, long, long, long time!
Finger Twirlin' Gesture
Isn’t it funny how things turn out?
If you don’t laugh then you’ll cry about it.
Do you ever wonder what became of them?
Are we still breathin’ the same air?
When did you become that thing you hate?
It happened so fast you never noticed.
The label that you slapped upon my back was accurate, appropriate…
Finger twirlin’ gesture by your head…
I agree, I’m weird, I’m loopy.
For meaningless, I became groupie.
I stood at the front and I tried to touch the nothingness
A monumental moment in history.
You can’t romanticise a pyrrhic victory.
Reincarnation. Happy Birthday to you!
Sittin’ proudly in an ivory tower.
Livin’ it up while the rest of ‘em cower...
Ecclesiastical. Welcome to the jungle!
I watched an A. i. documentary...
I turned it off halfway ‘cause I’d seen plenty.
I felt my hand tremble as I pointed at my temple.
Isn’t it funny how things turn out?
If you don’t laugh then you’ll cry about it.
Do you ever wonder what became of them?
Are we still breathin’ the same air?
When did you become that thing you hate?
It happened so fast you never noticed.
The label that you slapped upon my back was accurate, appropriate…
Finger twirlin’ gesture by your head…
Yeah, why should I care?
Why should I care if it’s too much to bear?
Life is beautiful, no? Life is beautiful, so?
There’s a special feelin’ livin’ deep inside of me.
Don’t you feel it it too?
It’s the answer to our misery… L. O. V. E’s crazy!
L. U. V’s amazing!
Why’d you have to spell it out and kill
all of the intrigue and most of our goodwill? Instant satisfaction.
Allergic reaction.You can shed a tear, but you can’t disappear.
Don’t be afraid to give the signal, spin it ‘round by your ear…
And you can jump those hurdles even when your blood curdles!
Isn’t it funny how things turn out?
If you don’t laugh then you’ll cry about it.
Do you ever wonder what became of them?
Are we still breathin’ the same air?
When did you become that thing you hate?
It happened so fast you never noticed
The label that you slapped upon my back was accurate, appropriate…
Finger twirlin’ gesture by your head…
Pretty Hard to Gauge
Heaven forbid they might lose interest in our famous brand!
But we’re just too good at floggin’ it,
We can even sell the Saudis sand.
You know we’re only tryin’ to make ends meet.
You have to understand
that it’s all messed up, completely overcooked,
but we’re headin’ to the promised land.
Pretty hard to gauge. Is it tribalism? Pretty hard to gauge.
Is it fatalism?
Pretty hard to gauge in a nihilistic rage.
Even the colours of the rainbow might be turnin’ beige!
Pay for the privilege, not so bargain bin,
Your pounds are pumped in.
We’ll have ya coughin’ up for a punch in the gut,
You’ll buy the junk we’re dumpin’.
United Kingdom, what’s your income? Are you havin’ a laugh?
If it don’t add up, tough luck, don’t worry,
You know we’ve done the math.
Put another few quid in the big bad ad machine.
God save the racket, ring-a-roses reigns supreme.
Top up the meter, we don’t need ta ever wipe the slate clean.
Breed the dream, keep ‘em cravin’ it like nicotine.
We’re sorry to hear that you’re starvin’ to death
and you don’t have a pot to piss in.
But that’s just none of our concern ‘cause we still gotta run our business!
We like to say that it’s made for kids even though it destroys their brains.
And we’re gonna keep on gettin’ away with murder and playin’ our deadly games.
Pretty hard to gauge. Is it feudalism? Pretty hard to gauge.
Is it populism?
Standin’ once again on a moralistic stage.
It’s gettin’ murky now, it’s gettin’ pretty hard to gauge.
Our customers mean so much to us, that’s why we must control them.
Extend our reach and prey on the weak. Corrupt the minds of children.
Recommend ‘em shite and tell ‘em lies and teach ‘em to love Jesus.
We gotta get our brood in a paranoid mood, so they can never leave us.
Better learn to take it on the chin. You’ll be OK.
Remember when you had a chance back in the day?
Remember when you had the wisdom of a sage?
But now you’re not so sure, it’s gettin’ pretty hard to gauge
It’s gonna be like this forever and ever!
It’s gonna be like this forever and ever!
It’s gonna be like this forever and ever!
Please don’t say that it’s true!
Bandleader, Really?
Put words to music, one more time, maestro… Bandleader, really? I thought you'd gone solo? Well, tell me, what’s in a name? And tell me, what’s in a sound…? I’m dreamin’ of Cradley and the heathens who all found…
Somethin' they belonged to,
even though they didn't want to really be a part of anything at all. (No patchwork quilts...)
It gave 'em some ambition. Gave 'em hope and ammunition.
Made 'em feel like they were twenty metres tall. (Like clowns on stilts...)
Back to the future... I don't think it suits ya!
A former dreamweaver. Not really, bandleader!
Oh, bandleader, really?
A nearly man, nearly! I mean this sincerely!
I mean this sincerely...
I'm not scared a dyin'... But, you know, I must be lyin'...
if I say I'm satisfied and paid the rent... (I circumvent)
From Mars to Halesowen, Milky Way, just keep on goin' to Andromeda.
Our time has been well spent... (99 percent)
Bandleader, really? When you're so lonely?
Where have your friends gone?
You were surrounded. At least you're grounded.
You never sounded so pure and so simple. You popped like a pimple.
Growin' up too quickly. Sometimes shy and sometimes sickly.
Did the punishment inflicted make me tough? (or weak with pride?)
I can’t condense, the pain’s immense, I'm gettin' restless on the fence...
I'm sure I'll be decisive soon enough... (and hit my stride...)
Bandleader, really? Don't be so dreary.
Turn up the brightness. Don't be self-righteous.
Insider trading... Our world's degrading. Like it or lump it.
Nice bitter crumpet...
Build-up to the climax, it's like watchin' Matt in iMax...
Is it time to face the final curtain call? (Most certainly!)
Who knows? I might just try and whip another band together,
then the question marks can all be overhauled... (Is it really me?)
These words I’ve put to music couldn't be more therapeutic...
Now I find myself performin' back on stage... (at a ripe old age)
I wanted to go deeper and play golf with the Grim Reaper,
but my handicap has kept me in a cage. (Go back a page...)
We were sittin’ up in the gods of Dudley Town Hall…
Watchin’ the Syd Lawrence Orchestra…
But he wasn’t there is the flesh, of course.
And neither was Glen Miller. And neither was Wingy Manone…
But that didn’t stop us from hearing them…
And Barbara’s Caramels sweetened the tone.
Devoted Detective
No shhh, Sherlock's feelin' reflective. Knock, knock! Who's there? What's the objective? Witnesses, memory's selective. It's time to dish the dirt on this, devoted detective...
I took the case because it tried to take me...
I took revenge because revenge was sweet…
I broke the rules, I always felt guilty…
I knew I couldn’t solve the mystery…
But I was devoted to this puzzle of torment… although I never had a clue..
(I’m not your typical sleuth…)
I’ve lost count of the times that I’ve been thrown off the scent,
sniffin’ about inside this zoo, where there is no proof…
Private dick, you’re headin’ for the nick! Here comes the paranoia, just don't let it destroy ya!
Perform a card trick. Your hands have to be quick!
You stole from your employer. You're gonna need a lawyer!
So, grab the bombshell and send 'em all to hell!
The nachos and the popcorn are ready for the new dawn.
There's so much time to dwell in a prison cell.
Your testimony was sworn and now you're lookin' forlorn...
Appearances can be deceptive. Your line of enquiry's a touchy subjective.
Extroverted introspective. Now you're on the trail again, devoted detective.
She slapped me 'round the face and told me I was a fraud.
I nodded and agreed, I didn't care I was flawed.
And all the action happened at incredible speeds.
She kicked me up and down the alley, into the weeds.
We thought we could be friends, we thought we'd be alright.
We thought we'd clear the air by havin' a big fight.
But it would take a century of scrubbin' the grime,
and even then we'll still be this primordial slime...
You're fillin' up with puss! You’re Mount Vesuvius!
The devil's in detail... You're workin' back in retail.
You're cynical 'n' suss. Don't be ridiculous! You seek the holy grail... You're settin' up to fail…
Addicted to the chase. You’re gonna fall from grace! The truth is on the fiddle...
The suspect's in the middle... Identify the face... They musta left a trace!
Investigate the riddle: "The horse is on the griddle..."
Analyse, scrutinise, torture - corrective. Purge the perjury, assassination directive.
'cause everyone's a target when you’ve been disrespected.
Forgot to do the paperwork, devoted detective?
Just like a film noir, I bathed in darkness.
Even my days were black as night... until I saw the light!
Not quite Columbo, but I had a kinda sharpness…
…that wouldn’t be blunted by the fight against the zany zeitgeist…
Portrait... into landscape... Interview tape... Blamed. Maimed. Crime scene... Been framed.
Now you know your methods are no longer effective,
you better check yourself and get another perspective.
You’ve always been defensive and so overprotective.
It’s time to shut the door on this, devoted detective.
Henry Booted
Whenever I look at the ominous sky, I wonder if the end might soon be nigh...
But it's more personal than that, for this mangey black country cat.
You are a ravishin' invention. What's with the correlation between happiness and despair? Don't they make a lovely pair?
Surprise, surprise, you were wrong to invest...
There's a cuckoo sittin' in your nest... and you've given all your energy to it.
Linda in the role of Reagan... made me Catholic, no more Pagan.
Henry booted those who didn't fit.
You were educated by some nuns. I used to keep a draw fulla guns!
You play much better than my husband did... You drank the sewing machine flu-id...
And I'd be happier stackin' the shelves, or tutorin' some year twelves...
False Widows, post-credit scenes. They're always gonna make some more, it seems...
Autism is a helluva drug!
It's ADHD now, you mug!
Comorbid with an impuse to offend.
Written off and left for dead, "We don't want you 'round here," they said... (I was "finished,”) but I came-through in the end.
In my previous life...
I had a sister called Sylvia Strife...
She did some hits for the mob...
She never once turned down a job.
But then somebody blew her brains out!
This fiction stinks of rainbow trout!
And I can't work in these conditions!
I joined the queue, of no admissions...
Every time I quit, I mean it.
You’re reluctant to believe it.
“Henry Booted,” clue is in the name…
The end has started up again, there’s not much ink left in my pen…
I’m still in love but you don’t feel the same.
....
Are we gonna keep on comin' back for more, every time as if we never done it before?
Too many bridges for us to mend...
Don't think the end was just pretend...
Impossible now to defend, you said the end was just pretend...
No more fortune left to spend. Last time the end was just pretend.
Remember when you were my friend? We knew the end was just pretend...
But everythin' is different now... The end’s real, so we're takin' a bow.
Decapitated, satiated… Henry booted wives he hated...
And even though we've broken up, we still occasionally hook-up...
in our separate rooms for fun. Things have only just begun.
Of course they love me now I've died. I had to swim against the tide...
The irony's not lost, it's in the bin. Henry booted next of kin... The water came up to my chin. Back on the beach, I thought I saw a fin...
(Are we gonna keep on comin' back for more, every time as if we never done it before?)
Utopian Dystopian
Well, he was born in fourteen seventy-eight.
Five hundred-odd years later made a saint.
Faith alone’s enough to save your soul.
They stuck his severed head onto a pole.
And he was born in eighteen ninety-four.
No place like home, an island to explore.
Mr. Blair wrote “Nineteen Eighty-Four”,
But “Brave New World” was seventeen years before.
Utopian. Dystopian. Utopian. Dystopian.
Margaret made the grade.
She served up her speculation…
Tale of the handmaid.
Foundations have been laid.
Yeah, she was born in nineteen eighty-three,
And soon enough she’d learned to Hail Mary.
She told the priest she’d stolen twenty p.
She had to make up sins to be as pure as he.
Well, I was born in nineteen eighty-five.
The first of all the grandkids to arrive.
I came out screamin’ “Why am I alive?”.
Too conscious to be functional within the hive.
Utopian. Dystopian. Utopian. Dystopian.
Superman will return!
He’ll be back to sort things out.
There’s no cause for concern. Just pray that you don’t burn.
Yeah, they’ll be born in twenty-five sixty-Nine.
The perfect people in the perfect time.
They’ll coexist in happiness divine, with no more problems,
No illness or crime.
The date and year will be irrelevant.
No calendar, just spiritual fulfilment.
Transcendental bliss, eternal moments.
All on the same team, no need for opponents.
Utopian. Dystopian. Utopian. Dystopian.
Truman Show. Brazil.
Smartphones, drones and payday loans.
Society’s a thrill.
It’s time to write your will...
Absolutely Outta My Mind
Every day's a head trip. Need to get enough good kip.
Is your mask about to slip and is the balance gonna tip?
Swipin’. Scrollin’. Behaviour controllin’. Game consolin’. Pollin’. Trollin’.
All the taps ‘n’ all the clicks. News and media tricks. Demographic graphics.
All the common tactics. Interactive journeys. Get down on your knees please.
Submit to authorities your intellectual properties.
Up, up the ladder, ladder. Up, up the ladder, ladder.
Up, up the ladder, ladder. Up, up the ladder, ladder.
Up, up the ladder, ladder. Up, up the ladder, ladder.
Up, up the ladder, ladder. Up, up the ladder, ladder.
Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up!
Every step will boost your rep, but it’s a risky climb to power and it’s gettin’ steeper by the hour.
I must be absolutely outta my mind...
Orchestrate the next theme. Moderately extreme.
It's enough to make ya scream. Everythin’ is obscene.
Preacher, what you preachin’? Teacher, what you teachin'?
Learner, what you learnin’? Burnin’ what you’re earnin’.
Lady in the drink shop with a bucket and a mop,
sweepin’ up the glass shards, dealin’ out the scratch cards.
Scannin’ cans a cider, sellin’ vapes ‘n’ lighters,
servin’ all the blighters… Drunk again tonighters.
Have you ever noticed the symbiosis? Mind your own business.
Become a silent witness.
Standin’ with your bibles next to pious rivals.
Afterlife survivals. Resurrected idols. Only goin’ so far in your getaway car.
Better write a memoir and tell ‘em who you really are.
A genuine faker, fourth wall breaker.
I must be absolutely outta my mind...
She became a success. He pulled out n made a mess.
The bishop told the actress, in a state of undress;
“God will still forgive us.
(Well, maybe not the both of us… Lord, I don’t mean to cause a fuss. That woman is a succubus!)"
Stylin’ over substance. Signin’ up to nonsense.
Losin’ our resistance to predatory persistence. Culture of hubris.
Did we really choose this? Voted for apocalypse...
You sadomasochists!
Oh! What’s the matter, matter? Oh! What’s the matter, matter?
Oh! What’s the matter, matter? Oh! What’s the matter, matter?
Oh! What’s the matter, matter? Oh! What’s the matter, matter?
Oh! What’s the matter, matter? Oh! What’s the matter, matter?
Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it?
Get it glamourised and monetised.
A well-rehearsed recital, titled after a title.
I must be absolutely outta my mind...
Do u c it the way i c it?
Do u c it the way I c it? Do u c it the way I c it?
Do u c it the way I c it? Do u c it the way I c it now?
Do u c it the way I c it now? Do u c it the way I c it now? Well, do u c it the way I c it now?
You see a bird and I see a plane.
You see a loss when I see a gain.
You see a gift, but I see a rift. I think yer comin’ round, I think ya catchin’ my drift… So…
Do u c it the way I c it now? Do u c it the way I c it now? Well, do u c it the way I c it now?
Hear me out, hear me out! Love is blind!
I’m feelin’ kinda queasy ‘cause i can’t rewind
Baby, baby, baby what cha tryin to do to me?
You got me in a frenzy, I’m possessed by ambiguity…
You say it’s white, and I say it’s cream.
And you think it’s real. I think it’s a dream!
Close to the bone and from a thousand feet,
We're lookin' at the evidence, but evidence is obsolete!
Do u c it the way I c it now? Do u c it the way I c it now?
Well, do u c it the way I c it now?
Hear me out, hear me out! Love is blind!
I’m feelin’ kinda queasy ‘cause i can’t rewind
Baby, baby, baby what cha tryin to do to me?
You got me in a frenzy, I’m possessed by ambiguity…
March of the Progs
Man, I can't believe I got so old, bald n fat.
I know I must've come across like a spoilt brat.
I wanna be progressive, wanna side with the left…
Despite the fact the right has such a dominant heft.
Saint George's crucifixes nothin', JC be damned.
It's no surprise a good disguise has got us all scammed.
The Gears inside my head are grindin, dubious cogs.
I really wanna join 'em, join the march of the progs!
"You're lucky to still have the shoes left on your feet" said the boys from Aston.
They were not too discreet. We'll rebuild the country out of kisses and hugs.
March of the progs, laid bare. Standin' up to the thugs!
Don’t wanna break any hearts, but nothin’ comes for free.
The whole is greater than the sum of its parts, and what will be will be…
The loadin’ bar that displays our progress is permanently stalled.
We’re havin’ a ‘mare, as far as I’m aware…
We’ll wait until our numbers are called.
"One more for the road and then I'm headin back,"
declared the former champ towards the rest of the pack.
"I really must be leavin’; I've got so much to do…
The thing about this sport is everything's on you."
His politics were frightenin' but he had a big heart.
And no one ever gave him anythin' from the start.
He bought a round of drinks for everyone in the pub, and left to no ovation…
Then he went home to blub.
Got in bed together, where they made their big plans.
Some of them aborted, others formed their own clans...
Did you try to stop them? Did you have the minerals?
Latest in a long line of enfant terribles...
Begin the beguine, they'll dance on our graves. Just like Atlantis we'll be under the waves. The new Titanic movie's now in the works. The tip of the iceberg... upgrade for the perks.
Another lamb lies down on Broadstreet, and on the dark side of the Spoons.
March of the progs, I hope it makes a difference and helps prevent our dooms!
Wow, I think we made it to the other side.
They put us through the mill and took us all for a ride.
But now we’re gettin’ better, gettin’ things movin’…
in a safer new direction and we’re lookin’ trim!
I was once a sceptic, but I got on board…
I recently escaped the psychiatric ward.
I’m forward thinkin’, never goin’ back to the dogs…
We’re happy and we owe it to the march of the progs.
Somethin' stirred inside me... Seethin' and vindictive.
Libertine, indicative. I've felt more conservative...
…ever since that moment when you rained on my parade.
I'm mad as a March hare. Throw some shade... Call a spade a spade!
There is a Duck
Strollin' along by the history canal, the old boys took it all in.
One said to the other, "Do you think there's a God?"
...and they both felt the crawls on their skins...
"Don't you know the proper science?"
"No, that's just a ruse. "I've spent years conductin' my research..."
"Please unleash your fascinatin' views!"
You don't know no better, but you got me pegged! I was lost in a conversation…
Foetuses and eggs... All creatures great and small, in the vortex zone...
A dusty moth in some toilet paper. Fossil from a bone...
Picture the scene... there is a duck that's eatin' bread that's turned to muck, yeah!
Picture the scene... A sunny afternoon…
A gust of wind blows some shrubs. There will be ducklings soon…
Standin’ at the junction, one reached into his bag and grabbed an old camera to use…
“There’s still a few snaps left on this roll…”
And then the other one started to muse…
"Films used to mean so much to me..."
"Don't they anymore?"
"Well, I've seen too many turkeys... slaughtered on the cuttin' room floor"
You don't know no better, but you got me pegged! I was lost in a conversation…
Foetuses and eggs... All creatures great and small, in the vortex zone...
A dusty moth in some toilet paper. Fossil from a bone...
Picture the scene... there is a duck that's eatin' bread that's turned to muck, yeah!
Picture the scene... A sunny afternoon...
A gust of wind blows some shrubs. There will be ducklings soon…
Lars Von Trier don't come near! Lars Von Trier just don't come near!
More morose, verses verbose. Modernist post. You've seen a ghost!
"Can I take your photo again?"
"Yeah, of course you can."
"I was talkin' to that heron."
"That's a good one, Sam."
You don't know no better, but you got me pegged! I was lost in a conversation…
Foetuses and eggs... All creatures great and small, in the vortex zone...
A dusty moth in some toilet paper. Fossil from a bone...
Picture the scene... there is a duck that's eatin' bread that's turned to muck, yeah!
Picture the scene... A sunny afternoon...
A gust of wind blows some shrubs. There will be ducklings soon…
There is a duck. There is a duck. There is a duck… a sittin’ duck. Quack, quack, quack, quack...
Get Ready to Get Wet
Observation Stan, tell us if you comprehend.
It’s OK if you’re bored… of the cannibalistic horde and the general discourse)
Loose threads, call in the Feds! Have you got immunity?
Are you above the law? Criminals galore... gettin’ in through the back door)
Unholy matrimony. Let’s get married so we can get divorced… and we can play the theme from Jaws before we go to court… Breaststroke, soppy bloke, someone killed the lifeguard. Images of gore... and photographs of war are washin’ up on the shore.
Wrote the screenplay, made the film and butchered the sequel. (God help us!)
Magic mice have rolled the dice, rendered incapable. (Lost our trust!)
I’m sure that they tried to save us with their purple hearts.
Just get ready to get wet. Erosion of our parts. Blood splattered from the start…
Take the reins… pour scorn. Chariots of fire, here comes a biblical storm…
(Hatred’s been reborn and it's becomin’ the new norm…)
Bio-illogical, couldn’t clean the nasty river. Never did reform.
Your loyalty's been torn because they spat in your bun...
Romance, ants in pants, drenched in jealousy, they all want what’s yours.
Takin' it by force and nothin’s secured. Trick-ull down effect.
Wipe away the filthy muck that built up before.
The rich and the poor, at least they're changin’ the décor.
Old world monkeys, happy place, an ice-cream in the park. (It melted!)
Lost some friends in broad daylight and lost ‘em in the dark. (They wilted!)
Illustrated messages, a sponsored alphabet. (A bet!)
Swim with dolphins or swim with sharks? Get ready to get wet! Get ready to get wet!
You, me and all of the rest, we can’t get out the splash zone, safety’s been revoked.
You toked and you coked, but It’s not what you hoped!
Yes? No? Maybe so. Thank-you for the education. Inflated egos…
…that carry the useless load, have been torpedoed.
“Get ready to get wet!” said the driest person in the world,
Then they got soaked. They Fell into their moats. Oh, how they choked!
Prepare to drown in drought! Up the creek without a paddle where the sewage flows.
Now everybody knows this flooded prose.
So, get ready to get wet, it will drip on you too... (Right on cue!)
Weather girl and news anchor, seems everybody’s screwed!
See how far you get without clean water, without food.
Eat the ethics, drink the cringey righteous attitudes… Now, brace yourselves my dudes!
Get ready to get wet. Get ready to get wet. Are we nearly there yet? Are we nearly there?
Certain cataclysm. Relentless consumerism. Reconcile with your long-lost conscience today!
Observation Stan watched as it all went down the pan…
…and he reflected on the overflowing drains.
“Impossible,” says a sceptical brute, “it’s just impending doom pursuit.
I won’t get out of bed this late in the day.”
But one night he’ll find, when something’s been blown-up nearby,
a massive piece of shrapnel’s landed on his duvet.
So, get ready to get wet. Get ready to get wet. Are we nearly there yet? Are we nearly there?
We never left home…
Everythin' it Taught Me
Come up with the goods! Don’t know if I should.
I might have to walk away. I would if I could.
But year after year I try and I try to manage the meaning of life, but I'm underqualified.
Ultra-magnified, a trillion miles away, the distance I rode
(to crack the code)
Dazzled by the gorgeousness, unfortunately ‘bout to implode…
(How well does it bode?)
It taught me to pray. It taught me to spy.
It taught me alotta things and I don’t know why.
It taught me to want. It taught me to hype. It taught me to steal. It taught me a load a tripe…
Partially demented and affected by a chronic fatigue.
(Way too much intrigue!)
I fell off the ugly Oak and landed somewhere outta my league
(and it’s plain to see!)
Everythin’ it taught me was an abstract mess. It caused distress.
I had to strangle an unwelcome guest,
And now I’m diggin’ up the trauma that was laid to rest.
It seems that everythin’ it taught me sure enough manifests.
Everythin’ it taught me, unintentional, irrational.
You might be thinkin’ – What could be the “it”?
Well, that’s debatable!
Atomic, embryonic, earnest, honest, transmutational.
I didn't plan on this becomin' so confessional...
I’m wrapped up in tape. My head’s on a pike.
I just can’t escape my old lookalike.
But I’ve learned to live with it. My skin’s gotten thick. I hardly feel anythin’ now… had anaesthetic!
Ultra-magnified, a trillion miles away, the distance I rode
(sat on the commode)
Dazzled by the gorgeousness, unfortunately ‘bout to implode…
(but it's always in vogue)
It taught me my name. It led me to you.
It came in different shapes and shades of colours too.
I used to just mock, but now I’m like Spock.
I’ve transferred my essence. I’ve been round the block.
Partially demented and affected by a chronic fatigue.
(Way too much intrigue!)
I fell off the ugly Oak and landed somewhere outta my league
(and it’s plain to see!)
Everythin’ it taught me was a stroke of luck.
And I was always slow to learn because my head was plucked
by forces that I can’t decipher so I passed the buck.
But now I take responsibility ‘cause I’ve been struck by somethin’ that I would describe as an epiphany.
What’s wrong with you is just the same as what is wrong with me, because we’re all experiencin’ this reality.
It seems that everythin’ it taught me caused a controversy!
Everythin’ it taught me was a sin.
Nothin' Strange is Goin' On
“No, nothin’ strange is goin’ on,” said the press officer.
“No, nothin’ strange is goin’ on…” speakin’ for Lucifer.
No, nothin’ strange, no, nothin’ strange is comin’ into range... Nothin’ strange is goin’ on…
It was just a lover’s tiff,
so don’t read anymore into it than that.
Even if ya caught a whiff,
doesn’t mean anythin’ fishy’s bein’ cooked out back.
Even if there really is, what cha gonna do,
launch a full-scale attack?
What’s the game-plan, please explain!
Never was a line to cross. Gather no moss!
Yes boss! Our daily routines.
Inexplicable scenes. Whoops! I mean it’s natural as can be.
“Nothin’ strange is goin’ on” said the bearded captain of the nuclear submarine.
Jimmy Hendrix parakeets. Naval fleets...
Nothin' strange is goin' on,
We never could tell right from wrong.
An everlastin' game of Pong! Another hit from the Devil's bong.
Nothin’ strange is goin’ on. I’m playin’ 4D chess with this song.
About to move my rook along so I can capture old King Kong.
But everybody knows how that one goes.
He’s gonna get away and keep us on our toes.
He’ll do it for the love of a woman, of course.
We’re gonna have to take him down by force.
Now cut to a P.O.V shot. The problematic inner monologue…
Offer a solution. What do you propose?
Join in with the chorus and we can share the woes!
“No, nothin’ strange is goin’ on,” stated the spokesperson.
“No, nothin’ strange is goin’ on. There isn’t a perversion!”
No, nothin’ strange, no, nothin’ strange is comin’ into range... Nothin’ strange is goin’ on…
Just a self-indulgent prick livin’ in a world of delusion in Smethwick.
Dreamin’ of the ultimate gig.
Small time gangsters turned into bigwigs.
Heroes turned to pigs. Suicidal lemmings jumped off rich men’s cliffs.
After that you’ll need a holiday.
“I told you there was nothin’ strange goin’ on,” said the ghost who achieved some fame. “Bein’ alive was lame. No one played fair and I didn’t win a single game.”
“But what about the ones you spooked? Didn’t you worry about the generational pain?” asked the clairvoyant whose name is Jane…
Take it with a pinch of grain.
Nothin' strange is goin' on, and there's no need to spoil the fun!
Antagonistic, worse than Freddy!
You've had the stuffin' knocked outta yer teddy!
Nothin’ strange is goin’ on, but this resentment weighs a ton.
I’m feelin’ lighter now already.
I used to wobble but now I’m steady!
Tongues are waggin’ everywhere,
with accents whizzin’ through the air.
The super-apes are causin’ some trouble,
but oddly enough it’s shockingly normal in Gornal.
And Pattie must’ve been made of strong stuff…
‘cause Eric often got drunk and rough.
Derek and the Dominoes. (Hold your nose!)
I wrote this song for no one, I’ll bring it to a close.
No, nothin’ strange is goin’ on, so lower the temperature!
No, nothin’ strange is goin’ on.
It’s your lens, it’s your aperture!
No, nothin’ strange, no, nothin’ strange is comin’ into range. Nothin’ strange is goin’ on…
Nothin’ strange is goin’ on I guarantee.
Nothin’ strange is goin’ on believe me please!
I’ve read all the history books and I’ve looked ahead.
I’ve processed the information that I’ve been fed.
Nothin’ strange is goin’ on, these tales ain’t tall.
Nothin’ strange is goin’ on, no nothin’ at all!
Addicted to Depictions
We’re addicted to depictions of humanity’s insanities.
A constant source of entertainment, never-endin’ casualties.
Addicted to depictions of the famous. Who can blame us?
We’ve depicted every aspect of our lives and it feels so contrived…
Sat on a bus in an anxious whirlwind,
lookin’ all around with the motor purrin’.
He hadn’t been out ‘n’ about in a while,
but he tried to hide his paranoia in style.
And he wondered what the afternoon had in store.
Would he make it through alive? Could he take much more?
As he pondered, felt a flutter, felt nostalgia’s pull ‘cause he still dreamed of writing that famous novel…
“Can’t compete with Harper Lee and never will be Dylan Thomas!”
Planted doubtful seeds, ‘cause he knew that nothin’s promised…
“Does the world really need another literary celebrity???
Over-ambitious, once again. You just can’t stop.
It’s gonna kill ya!”
Now his nerves had gone to shreds;
“You’re destined to become a failure,” said that human in his head, but then the writer wrote a new person instead…
Sat at her desk in a drawn-out meeting.
Concentration levels were depleting.
The screen went black and the floor started shakin’.
She ran outside. Now her boots were really quakin’.
And a giant mushroom cloud could be seen in the distance.
Everyone was screamin’ for their own existence.
Then she woke up with a startled jolt.
She was back at her desk, upright she did bolt…
And so she made a cuppa coffee,
just to straighten out her thinkin’.
In a way she felt quite lucky,
Life went fast while she was blinkin’.
Contradictions and restrictions, spirituality and harsh profanity.
Her scary dream was my invention, but it wasn't worth the bother!
Could it be that this dimension's nothin' more than cannon fodder?
I'm addicted to depictions of the things that can't be known,
but somehow are!
(What's that flashin' on the radar?)
Willy nearly sent a dick pic, but his phone ran out of battery.
Sophie took another selfie, used a filter to look healthy.
Tried and tested. Never rested. Recommended. Who invested?
Jubilation. Last temptation.
Portrait of a proud and perfect nation...
Unsolicited privacy disturbance. Uncivilised unrest exuberance.
Workin’ like a slave just to get the dregs.
This tortured author’s tryin’ to represent on heavy legs.
Is it fact or fiction? What’s your prediction?
Why would I depict this desperate act of depiction?
Paintin’ all these pictures, past my sell by date.
I’m still aimin’ for the bigtime even though it’s too late…
Oh please stop tellin’ me the odds because I know it’s quite unlikely.
Playin’ poker with the gods.
The dealer’s rigged it just to spite me.
Well, I’m really only bluffin’, I’m a ragamuffin lost in vanity.
I’m walkin’ through the city centre,
Doppelgängers, iPhone hangers,
Slowly movin’ in a herd, some are religious old headbangers,
and they look as if they’re comatose but somehow operatin’ their bodies.
I’m watchin’ “Bad Lieutenant” with the family on a Sunday.
Chewin’ on the dog roast, in the trenches, at the buffet.
I’m addicted to depictions of humanity behavin’ at its worst…
And when it’s left unsupervised and when there’s no parental guidance…
When our worlds collide we can share in the subsidence.
OK, that’s enough from me! No more depictions of the pitiful and the cursed!
I’ll change my tune. Now that would be a first…
Yampy
Disassociation was his middle name,
and his partner always found a way to complain.
And their babies grew to be so distant and untamed.
It wasn’t what they had in mind...
When they got together in the better times, they ruled the roost, and they were in their primes.
It made them sad to see how far they’d fallen.
But then, as if by magic, they felt like billionaires.
They weren’t so disappointed in the actions of their heirs.
They had enough to last them for a day or two at most.
First one’s always the best.
Obsessed, they were engrossed!
Yampy. Yampy. It is what it is.
Yampy. Yampy. It is what it is.
Yampy. Yampy. It is what it is. Yampy. Yampy.
Finally learned how to behave, but he’s still itchin’ for a fix that he no longer craves.
It started in the cradle, and he’ll take it to his grave.
At least he finally learned how to behave!
Remember when you used to be experimental?
Maybe this was better as an instrumental?
No, it’s gonna be alright. It’s gonna be just fine!
You can walk to Galton Bridge and get on a train to Liverpool Lime Street again, and you can learn to cherish the mundane…
Sci-Fi or social critique? Direct or more oblique?
Caffeine or alcohol? Laughin’ face, hahaha, LOL.
Relationship lifeboat. Pass me the T.V remote.
Go gym? Adopt a pet? Find God on the internet?
Yampy. Yampy. It is what it is.
Yampy. Yampy. It is what it is.
Yampy. Yampy. It is what it is. Yampy. Yampy.
Finally learned how to behave,
but you’re still itchin’ for a fix that you no longer crave.
It started in the cradle, and you’ll take it to yer grave.
At least you finally learned how to behave!
Moved in with his mother after his breakdown.
He’d spent some time in vodka town.
Potato man went lookin’ for a victim.
He aggressively invaded Yampy’s space,
but Yampy played it like an ace, and walked away,
but later wrote about him…
The adrenaline had started to fade.
Yampy thought about the choice that he made.
Potato man became his fantasy aid.
He chopped him up with a garden spade.
He smashed his brains in with a baseball bat.
He pissed himself when he imagined that.
Behave, but be creative. Close shave.
Are ya gonna make it to the final bell?
You can break the spell of this living hell.
You’ve done so well, you’ve finally learned how to behave.
It’s up to you to save yourself from those provocative waves.
You finally learned how to behave.
It’s up to you to save yourself from those provocative waves.
You finally learned how to behave.
It’s up to you to save yourself from those provocative waves.
You finally learned how to behave.
It’s up to you to save yourself from those provocative waves.
Impressionist Mix
Impressionist mix. Technical tricks.
Icky, licky licks. Critical picks.
All the colours of light and paint.
They sold a brand new movement to chart.
Played one lot against the other. They had it down to an art.
“Who are they?” you may well say.
And you’d be right to take that tone.
Mashed potatoes, cans of soup and custard pies were thrown.
They made a splash on protective glass,
But all that came to pass was more pollution.
A bit too rich for my palette,
But count me in when they begin the revolution.
Clawed away at the features of culture. They got mauled.
In retrospect our vision was incredibly tunnelled.
Parrot plots, pixels and dots, another bot that’s not.
Sincere voices waitin’ to be heard. It’s all we got.
This artistry is killin’ me but it’s a foreign world without it.
At least we agree that there’s some clarity;
The raw components, instigators and the pundits.
Impressionist mix. Technical tricks. Icky, licky licks.
Critical picks.
Remember when you said that I should write for “Vice” magazine?
Whatever gave you that lame impression, man?
That was never my scene!
We were friends then, studious men who had some heart.
Midland country, info hungry.
Zealous from the start.
Lancaster to Aberystwyth and twice the other way.
Made it back to Birmingham.
And the rest is history, they say.
There they go the weary travellers. Where they goin’ next?
Maybe settle down somewhere that don’t flat out reject.
Influenced. Impression’s left. Impressionists are we?
Can you see the bigger picture? Can you even see?
New York City to the Florida Keys and a flight back from Miami.
Table tennis in the Austrian Alps. From rainy Cyprus to Lanzarote.
Clocked Another Sign
What’s ‘appenin'? Well, nothin' much. You clocked another sign.
Another chance to seize the day, don't wait,
It's past your bedtime.
Tomorrow’s near. Tomorrow’s there,
It’s gonna make some fresh demands.
You clocked another sign in the lounge, on the TV, in the synchronised hands.
"Now you're talkin' my language," thought the lonely life hostage.
They were lookin' for a vent to let out all their dissent.
"Join our group, it won't cost much.
The rest are all so out of touch."
Struck a chord, of course it did.
A chance to mingle with the cool kids.
Bringin' out the bigger guns and churnin' out the cheap puns. And writin' for the actors...
The ultimate distractors… The new content creators. T
he new old-fashioned haters. The well versed debaters.
The bombs be leavin' craters!
So, what’s ‘appenin'?
Well, nothin' much. You clocked another sign.
Another chance to find a way to play. It’s nearly home time.
From school to work you’ve been a jerk.
You turned your back, you can’t condone.
You clocked another sign in the street, at the bus stop,
on the screen of your phone.
Huge amounts went missin'. But what's to miss? A diamond ring?
Don't ask questions you can't solve.
Around them the world revolves.
But they're hangin' on by a thread.
What was once a god's now dead.
Attempts to communicate. Could be just a manic state, mate!
Land o’ hope ‘n’ glory. Played the game ‘n’ read the story.
Need remindin’ who’s providin’, gonna get a damn good hidin’. Stumble, tumble, Royal Rumble.
Stayin’ humble. Let ‘em mumble. Conversations with Alsatians. Harmonised United Nations.
So, what's ‘appenin'? Well, nothin' much.
You clocked another sign.
Another chance to shine before you decline.
Could be the last time.
Tomorrow’s fears. Tomorrow’s shares.
You slept in yesterday’s outfit.
You clocked another sign in your memory, there’s plenty,
It’s the main culprit.
"Get a grip," the wise ones say.
"There are bills that you must pay...
Climb into the tiger’s cage!"
You thought you were past that stage. Seasons change.
A goodbye kiss. They never gave you much notice.
Your medals are in the post.
Life is short so make the most of what's left of it...
You clocked another sign, you saw the water turn to wine.
Or was it turpentine?
You’re such a tasteless philistine.
You clocked another sign, it said it’s time to realign.
You clocked another sign, you heard it through the grapevine…
So, what’s ‘appenin’? Well nothin’ much.
You clocked another sign.
Another chance to make amends, dividends.
You’re into extra time.
The seconds ticked, the weeks the months.
All of a sudden the year was out.
You clocked another sign staring back from the mirror,
There was never any doubt.
Unique or Ten a Penny?
Antiques road show.
Everybody wants to know how much it’s gonna fetch.
Unique or ten a penny?
First one. Last one. Only one. Nice one.
Hand-made knock-off wretch.
One-offs, there are so many.
Qualities, histories, desirabilities, vital documents.
Unique or ten a penny?
Makes no sense, so smart it’s dense.
These age-old arguments…
The glare of the screen, she found it tranquil, serene.
She knew the human condition was completely obscene.
Scrambled shambles, risky gambles, ravenous, depraved… confused.
She sat on her own in a hotel room.
She thought she had it to herself, but she was wrong to assume. Complicated cats and spiders, special friends and laser tubes.
She did her best to care, to be fair.
It’s hard to love what isn’t there.
Laid out bare, she went spare, her issues chased her everywhere.
Weak yet strong all along. An artificial swan song.
So, so rare. Can’t repair. A miracle in a nightmare.
Do androids dream of electric sheep?
Do androids dream of electric sheep?
Ooo. Unique or ten a penny? Yeah. One offs, there are so many.
Hit ‘n’ hope, alotta rope-a-dope,
He was a fugitive now and on a slippery slope.
He knew it was just a matter of time before it all caught up.
He lived ‘n’ he learned. He got it straight off the bat.
He finally managed to escape, But what about after that?
No way to evade his fate; retirement, expiration date.
He had a proper go, although he felt just like Pinocchio. Overthrow status quo?
Well, it was just a puppet show.
Such distain. Get in lane.
His tears were fallin’ in the rain.
No value, common slew. Resentment, how it grew and grew…
Got a receipt for the genuine article?
All the way down to the tiniest particle.
Antiques road show.
Everybody wants to know how much it’s gonna fetch.
Unique or ten a penny?
First one. Last one. Only one. Nice one.
Hand-made knock-off wretch.
One-offs, there are so many.
Qualities, histories, desirabilities, vital documents.
Unique or ten a penny?
Makes no sense, so smart it’s dense.
These age-old arguments…
Empathy boxes and blisters of pills.
They watched the poverty porn and did some exercise drills.
Nothing would prepare them for what was about to rear its ugly head.
They never thought that it would happen to them.
Well, maybe they did, but they just couldn’t say when.
Ten a penny or unique?
A wild-goose chase, so to speak…
Their eyes were dynamite, so bright.
But somethin’ inside wasn’t right.
No respite from the fight, they struggled every day and night.
Constant war, what they saw came back to haunt them more and more.
Fear and fright, hair turned white, a major loss of appetite.
Everybody’s lookin’ for some validation.
There’s nothin’ quite like a bitter self-realisation.
Cruelty is a large part of this equation.
Comin’ from a person of a certain persuasion.
Take the test and see what result you get…
Let 'em Have Their Way
So you think you're a hard man? A real cock-o'-the-walk?
Well, let me tell ya somethin’, you got really got it comin’
now that everybody’s sick of your talk!
So you think you're a tough-nut? A real Jack-the-Lad?
Well, let me tell ya somethin', you really got it comin'
now that everybody knows that you're sad!
Let ‘em have their way. Give ‘em enough rope.
We don’t have to stay. I don’t think we’d cope.
And there’s no time to waste. Don’t be such a misanthrope!
Let ‘em have their way. Give ‘em enough rope!
So you think you're the prom queen? A real top-tier bitch?
Well, let me tell ya somethin’, you really got it comin’
now that everybody knows you’re a glitch!
So you think you're Miss Universe? A real ten outta ten?
Well, let me tell ya somethin', you really got it comin'
now that everybody knows you're pretend!
Let ‘em have their way. Give ‘em enough rope.
We don’t have to stay. I don’t think we’d cope.
Drop-out the dead rat race, it’s such a tiresome old trope!
Let ‘em have their way. Give ‘em enough rope!
So you think you're the big boss? A real alpha-dog?
Well, let me tell ya somethin’, you really got it comin’
now that everybody knows you’re a knob!
So you think you're a leader? But you're a figurehead!
Well, let me tell ya somethin', you really got it comin'
now that everybody wants you dead!
Let ‘em have their way. Give ‘em enough rope.
We don’t have to stay. I don’t think we’d cope.
Request a change of pace, the answer’s gonna be “Nope!”
Let ‘em have their way. Give ‘em enough rope!
So you think that you’re innocent? We need to give you a break?
Well, lemmie tell ya somethin’, you really got it comin’
now that everybody knows you’re a fake!
So you think you're untouchable? Just like you were before?
Well, let me tell ya somethin', you really got it comin'
now that everybody knows the score!
Let ‘em have their way. Give ‘em enough rope.
We don’t have to stay. I don’t think we’d cope.
Go find another place where no one can interlope.
Let ‘em have their way. Give ‘em enough rope!
Let ‘em have their way and save yourself a headache!
As long as you’re OK, they’ll be no drama to make.
Live by the good Lord’s grace and try to keep a straight face!
Let ‘em have their way or get your eyeballs sprayed with Mace!
Legend who Became Despised
Have you heard the one about the legend who became despised?
They were once seen as an idol. They would always win first prize.
Everybody seemed to worship the ground they walked on
and no one in the world would’ve predicted their demise…
But then all their darkest secrets came to light before our eyes…
Ripe for the pickin’. Get it before the mould sets in,
It ain’t so finger lickin’ if it’s disease in a bowl.
Don’t listen to him, he’s a psychotic rabbit.
He’s got terrible habits, and there’s poison in his soul.
This is the story of whatever you think it is.
Are you inquisitive? What should be the end goal?
You’re climbin’ Everest. You’re right on the precipice.
You’re livin’ underground ‘cause you’ve dug yourself into a hole…
The trees are fallin’ in the forest.
If no one hears ‘em, let’s be honest, they may as well not exist!
They may as well not exist!
Have you heard the one about the legend who became despised?
They were once seen as an idol.
They would always win first prize.
Everybody seemed to worship the ground they walked on
and no one in the world would’ve predicted their demise…
But one day the shit hit the fan and they would be ostracised.
Add it to the list. Another crime of the century...
A shameful debauchery. But nobody was too shocked.
The second coming was a great disappointment.
Just a fly in the ointment, and it deserves to be mocked.
Of course we’re stickin’ to a code of silence.
It’s a kinda violence, but the show must still go on.
The voice of reason in this treasonous verse
contains no faith to disperse.
You know, it’s probably all just a con…
The trees are fallin’ in the forest.
If no one hears ‘em, let’s be honest,they may as well not exist!
They may as well not exist!
Have you heard the one about the legend who became despised?
They were once seen as an idol.
They would always win first prize.
Everybody seemed to worship the ground they walked on
and no one in the world would’ve predicted their demise…
But they made a major comeback ‘cause we were desensitised…
Adoration still persisted long after revelations.
What are the connotations? Are we all cancelled?
It’s time to separate the work from the artist.
Now Columbus’s tarnished and the statues are dismantled.
They might be villainous, to some they’re heroic.
Are you proud to be stoic? Would you rather be legendary?
And when the Sun has eaten up all the Earth,
there’ll probably be a rebirth ‘cuz it’s the universal tendency.
The trees are fallin’ in the forest.
If no one hears ‘em, let’s be honest, they may as well not exist!
They may as well not exist!
Couldn't Catch a Breeze
I found myself back on the couch, I couldn’t catch a breeze.
I was stuck in the dock with writer’s block,
Deprived of the open seas.
But then I thought about these riffs that I had stashed away.
So I grabbed the nearest guitar and then I began to play.
Lo and behold, part of my problem was solved.
Now all I needed was some words to get involved.
I got old before my time.
I felt ancient at the age of 29 (or maybe 9).
It’s no good searchin’ for the fountain of youth,
When you have always been so long in the tooth.
Took me a while to realise,
Time waits for no one and it won’t compromise.
All good things come to an end.
No satisfaction when you’re goin’ round the bend.
And we’ve all been there. Many moments of despair and desperation.
Two choices: Sneak out early. Stay for the duration.
It can be hard to have to swallow your pride.
Feels like a little piece of your soul has died.
Well, after that I had to think about what to address.
I’d left my only steady job. Felt guilty, I confess.
But then I thought about the life that I still had ahead.
No need to grieve, I had to leave to move forward instead.
I had to be bold.
I had to break the mould so that my best material could unfold.
Tip-tip toe-in and a to-in and a fro-in.
Keep ya wits about ya, look which way you’re goin’.
If you’re gonna play with snakes don’t be surprised if you get bitten.
Sometimes it's just bad luck, become the anti-venom.
Don't make it torture and don't make it abuse.
I’m talkin’ bollocks, I don’t need an excuse.
Doin’ what I’ve always done.
Things get ugly but I gotta have some fun…
‘cause I’m a wizard in a blizzard and I’m here to work my magic. Can’t make my demons disappear though. It’s so tragic.
Any regrets? I guess I do have a few.
Each time I lost control and the way I treated you.
Well, since the song had found its feet, I had to carry on.
I thought that I was past my peak,
But I was thinkin’ wrong.
I couldn’t catch a breeze when I started out, my sails were torn.
But now I moved with ease, no breeze was needed, I caught a storm. Tornados and thunder in my soul.
Fixed all the tears and covered each ‘n’ every hole.
I always wanted what I couldn’t get.
I think that goes for everyone that’s on this planet.
Well, that really might be the most stupid thing that I’ve said.
Don’t worry ‘bout it, lust can go back to bed.
Although you’re older, inside there’s still a kid.
A captive animal, a wild hominid.
Ahab wants to kill Moby Dick.
He’s obsessed and it’s makin’ him sick.
But if he wants to chase the unobtainable that’s his decision.
He might be crazy but he’s livin’ for the mission.
The fight’s not over, he can still turn the tide.
It will destroy him but he will not be denied.
OK my friends, we’re at the end.
That was a story told about a singer-songwriter who thought he’d lost his gold.
But he dug deep and he found that treasure buried in his head.
Might not be worth a fortune but at least he’s not yet dead!
Bring it on home now that my mind’s been blown across the ocean of the great unknown.
Ashamed to Admit
Ashamed to admit that I've been nothin’ but a fool.
I thought I was so high and mighty and I tried to play it cool. Airs 'n' graces, egomania, but then my bubble burst.
Another Englishman gone wayward.
Never could quite quench my thirst.
All the money in the world. All the insults bein’ hurled.
Count your blessings? Say your prayers?
Or just serve that beast downstairs?
I wish I was more like you, unconcerned with false or true.
Actin’ up ‘n’ livin’ rude. Ashamed to admit I'm crude.
When I’m walkin’ down the street. I watch where I put my feet.
Sometimes I look to the sky and try to find a reason why.
Ashamed to admit I'm jaded.
My tolerance reserve's been raided by this challengin’ existence.
I don't think I can go the distance.
What am I sayin’? What am I tryna say?
Ashamed to admit that I made things worse.
The future keeps changin’. The past lives in no-man’s land.
A frame-by-frame present tense in reverse.
Ashamed to admit that I've been nothin’ but a fool.
I thought I was so high and mighty and I tried to play it cool. But I blew hot ‘n’ cold instead and bashed my stubborn head against the wall.
Too proud to see there was a doorway further down the hall.
We’ve still got a way to go. Movin’ fast then movin’ slow.
Doctor Jekyll, Mr Hyde. Personalities collide.
Ashamed to admit I am Frankenstein meets The Wolfman.
Horror show, no ifs, no buts.
I’ve come clean, I’ve spilled my guts.
When I’m walkin’ down the street. I watch where I put my feet.
Sometimes I look to the sky and try to find a reason why.
Ashamed to admit I'm jaded.
My tolerance reserve's been raided by this challengin’ existence. I don't think I can go the distance.
What am I sayin’? What am I tryna say?
Ashamed to admit that I made things worse.
The future keeps changin’. The past lives in no-man’s land.
A frame-by-frame present tense in reverse.
Ashamed to admit that I've been nothin’ but a fool.
I thought I was so high and mighty and I tried to play it cool.
I crashed back down to earth again and found my reputation on the floor.
But the ground’s not a terrible place to be,
I’ve grown back strong before.
It’s hardly a mystery. Misanthropic mastery.
Complicated basically. I’ll explain explicitly.
No one wants a loony son. Let’s see what you could’ve won.
I think it’s time to retreat. Ashamed to admit defeat.
Sometimes all that's Needed
Nature is a killer.
There’s a food-chain-message in the fox’s inbox.
A blind carbon copy for the little pet rabbit.
Stressed and panicked,
It can sense the old wily fox is wanting somethin’ to eat.
The lust to strike is gettin’ strong,
The murder urge is way too much.
The meat’s within its clutch.
The bunny isn’t safe inside its cheap ‘n’ flimsy chicken-wire hutch.
It’s oh so prone.
It’s in the massacre zone.
The fox is Al Capone.
There will be blood ‘n’ bone.
A gruesome sight. You know I’m right.
Let’s have a ding-dong!
Sometimes all that’s needed is a simple song and you can sing along and you can never go wrong with it.
Sometimes all that’s needed is a simple song and you can sing along and you can never go wrong with it...
Well, it’s happenin’. Distractin’. Respondin’ to the overreactin’.
Well, it’s happenin’. Distractin’. Respondin’ to the overreactin’...
Brain-cell zappin’, synapse snappin’. Lappin’ it up!
Middle-aged crazies tryna keep up with the youth.
(Ain’t it the truth?)
Flash mobs, teeny tots showin’ off their platform moves.
(Oh woo-hoo!)
The fox don’t give a monkey’s that it’s mangy and uncouth. (Because it’s all a spoof!)
It’s cunning and it’s sly, you know,
It got in through a hole in the roof.
Be bold or be aloof?
The choice is up to you. Right on or overdue?
Participants, spectators, dilettantes and commentators.
Perception. Deflection. Well-practiced in the art of deception. Perception. Deflection. Well-practiced in the art of deception. Sometimes all that's needed is a wakeup call,
a better look at it all.
Beware, you might not like it.
Sometimes all that's needed is a wakeup call,
a better look at it all.
Beware, you might not like these consultations with your former self.
Oh my word!
(Yeah, sometimes all that’s needed.
Yeah, sometimes all that’s needed.)
Play another one for us will ya, ditty lad?
And remind everybody about the good times that we once had.
Play another one for us will ya, ditty lad?
And remind everybody about the good times that we can still have.
The glory’s in the bag, don’t you worry about that.
Old days were just as bad. The fox tore up your pad.
Did more than ruffle a few feathers.
Sometimes all that’s needed is a moment to think;
a chance to make that link and you’ll be tickled pink. Yeah! Sometimes all that’s needed is a moment to think;
a chance to make that link and you’ll be pickled tink. Yeah!
You’re gaugin’, you’re ragin’, specifically and wider-rangin’.
You’re gaugin’, you’re ragin’, specifically and wider-rangin’. Rearrangin’ rattled cages. Later stages...
Tell Me, Narrator
No romanticisin’, it’s so agonisin’, airin’ out ya dirty briefs.
You know they know it; you’re a filthy poet,
and you’re clingin’ on to your beliefs.
Why don’t you confess? You’ve always been a mess,
You’re tangled up in your own brain.
Just tell me, narrator, who’s the perpetrator?
Gotta find someone to blame.
Well, you can call me a trier and a terrible liar.
Back then I was an energy source; a real resourceful freak.
A sneaky autistic geek with an air of mystique and a schizophrenic streak.
A strength that made me weak.
Creepy advertisin’. Evil levels risin’,
Drownin’ out what's left of good in the Kingdom of the dumb,
Superficial scum, psychopathic neighbourhood.
Readin' from the book of no one gives a fuck.
We may as well accept our fate. Cynical, can’t reach the pinnacle. Tell me, narrator, are you filled with hate?
The benefit of hindsight. What made you glad now makes you sad.
Voice-over consciousness, thoughts and feelings:
It’s the human jihad.
Statin’ it while my faculties are still reasonably intact. Predictably unpredictable, I think it’s time to drop the act.
Matthew sat at home, typin’ on his phone,
Lyrics that just wouldn’t fit.
He hadn’t slept all night.
His head was full of shite.
He thought it might be time to quit.
What a fuckin’ cunt, he had it back to front.
The bastard really was insane!
Even as a kid, all he ever did was deviate from the mundane.
There's always a darker and worse place to go,
until you’ve gone too far.
Then it’s game over, the end of the show.
There’s no room left to lower the bar.
How I wish that I was a holy man, but I’m not and I never will be.
And I wish that I could just hide behind an alter-ego,
but hey-ho, c’est la vie…
Write a magnum opus? Find a way to focus and avoid a padded cell. Break from this narration.
There's no obligation. Non-believers go to Hell.
That's the final straw, I don't care no more.
There’s a flaw in my design. Where do I begin?
It's a deadly sin, livin' on the borderline.
The Plague Dogs and Watership Down; the author’s orthodox.
Do as I say and don’t do as I do.
Those without sin can throw their rocks.
Dishin’ out punishments, unjust and cruel.
Send a message, examples must be made.
Bludgeoned by the bluntness of judgement and violence.
The tools of the trade.
Talk about corruption, it's a sham production of a bogus narrative.
Stickin' to the script when it should be ripped.
That’s a crime I can't forgive.
Hypocrite sage, can we turn the page and make it to the other side?
I haven’t got a clue, I don’t know what to do.
The choice is tough, I can’t decide.
I’m sittin’ on the fence, don’t mean to cause offence,
But everybody’s crazy, everybody’s bent.
I got no defence. Face the consequence. Maybe I’m just lazy?
Maybe I’m just spent? Talkin’ to myself. Talkin’ mental health. Talkin’ higher powers. Talkin’ ‘bout the wealth.
How to generate… Pay ‘em to narrate... Viral inner-spiral… Disassociate...
Tell me, narrator, are you unreliable?
Are you just a device in a story? Factual or fictional?
Well, just tell me, narrator, are you stirrin’ up trouble?
Are you messin’ with us for your own entertainment?
Are we really that gullible?
Mother-Father Thing
Let’s get to the bottom of this mother-father thing.
Let’s dive into this abstraction. Yin ‘n’ Yangy fling.
Yes it’s true that we’ve achieved a lot that’s impressive,
But is it really worth the price?
The debt to pain’s massive.
One day we will be set free but until then we’re chained to thee.
This mother-father thing’s a tragedy,
But we just keep on streamin’.
Wake me up, I swear I must be dreamin’.
I’m surfin’ on the psychic silver ceilin’.
Floatin’ up into the air. I’m born again.
I am aware this mother-father thing’s a family affair.
“Bad Boy Bubby”. “I Stand Alone”. The dragon in the church.
The Wicked Witch. Computer glitch.
The road that’s lined with Birch. The reason for Ganesh,
“The Bindin’ of Isaac”, of course.
The milk, the eggs, marsupials, the birthin’ male seahorse.
One day he will be set free but until then he’s chained to thee. This mother-father thing’s a travesty.
Ideas above his station…
Doubts cast on creation. Contraception.
Is “The Big Bang” a seminal misconception?
The further and further back they go with their gold-plated mirror space telescope...
The more they find, the less we seem to know.
Can’t come to an understandin’. Never understood.
Why you need to sow your seeds to validate manhood.
There’s nowhere safer than inside the mouth of a momma croc.
A bird’s eye view to fly the nest, attempt to join a flock.
One day she will be set free but until then she’s chained to thee. This mother-father thing’s a lottery.
The breedin’ and the schemin’.
Wake me up, I swear I must be dreamin’.
I’m surfin’ on the psychic silver ceilin’.
Floatin’ up into the air.
I’m born again.
I am aware this mother-father thing’s a family affair.
Romulus and Remus.
Mother Rhea, Father Mars.
The nursing breasts of the she-wolf.
Maternal, paternal scars.
I’m sick to death of all this fabled systematic sludge.
The afterbirth of life on earth.
The parent-sibling grudge.
Now that I have been set free I am no longer chained to thee.
Released from rancid relativity. Defied indoctrination…
Doubts cast on creation. Contraception.
Is “The Big Bang” a seminal misconception?
The further and further back they go with their gold-plated mirror space telescope.
The more they find, the less we seem to know!
End to be the End
The days were numbered for the merry-go-round.
The nuts and bolts were gettin’ loose.
The engine was rattlin’, no solution was found.
The lights kept blowin’ a fuse.
It became so obvious that this ride was doomed.
The fundamentals were cack.
But we rode on, despite disasters that loomed.
Hard to believe now lookin’ back.
And I don’t wanna do it all again. I want the end to be the end. Don’t wanna do it all again.
I want the end to be the… I don’t wanna do it all again.
I want the end to be the end. Don’t wanna do it all again.
I want the end to be a celebration of annihilation.
Join me in this rumination.
We cried and we bled in a circus of dread.
Storyteller-Fella did The Mela and signed some copies of his bestseller.
Gave him a big head.
Favourite one they’d read.
Wisdom-Flunker had another hunch.
Of course he was the first one to the punch,
In more ways than one. The spotlight had shone.
Weepy-Junkie sold his nanny.
His beggin’ routine was rather uncanny. Was second to none.
His performance was Oscar worthy.
Squeakin’, wobblin’, rumblin’, we kept goin around.
Content to be supervised.
But then things broke apart, unravelled, unwound and left us shocked and surprised.
What did I know? I was an ignorant runt.
I had enough problems of my own.
We were pig headed and got caught in a stunt.
A phase we should’ve outgrown.
I don’t wanna go through that again. I want the end to be the end. Don’t wanna go through that again.
I want the end to be the end... End…
Rollercoaster of emotions, up ‘n’ down, intense devotions.
Drink, drugs, knives ‘n’ guns. Sex addicts ‘n’ nuns.
I apologise, I never meant to trivialise. Not sorry really.
Hook-a-Duck. Lucky charms. Tarot cards. Sweaty palms.
“Come into my tent,” the old gypsy said.
"You, my friend, are tricky to read.
You’re trapped in a loop of guilt and greed...
and you need to get out of it!”
They managed to repair the merry-go-round.
A new motor, a lick of paint.
Installed new speakers and pumped in some fresh sounds.
They thought their reboot was great.
After a while the rust began to set in because the maintenance was poor.
Only the faithful kept on ridin’ that thing.
They were committed to the core.
But I just couldn’t get back on again.
Wanted the end to be the end. Just couldn’t get back on again.
Wanted the end to be the end… End…
Dear departed,
Gotta deal with what you started ‘til it’s finished.
Broken hearted,
I was tranquilizer darted and diminished.
Happy endin’, trouble is we’re still dependin' on a fantasy.
Trendy spendin’, can we stop the madness? Try a new philosophy?
We finally all got off the merry-go-round.
Even the worst had had enough.
That tired machine could no longer keep us bound.
Those last few years were so rough.
But now we’re livin’ in a peaceful new world.
No carousel of daily grind.
Who am I kiddin’?
Can’t we at least defy slave-drivers of humankind?
‘cause I don’t wanna work for them again.
I want the end to be the end. Don’t wanna work for them again.
I want the end to be the…
I don’t wanna work for them again. I want the end to be the end. Don’t wanna work for them again.
I want the end to be the end. End. End. End. End.
